Singer, Lauryn Hill, has a song called "Everything Is Everything". This entry is about how we look at the world and our own actions/behavior.
Most seemingly healthy (or confident) people seem to apply all the positive things to themselves when hearing general opinions. Then, if they hear something negative, they think of all the people they know that commit the act.
Example: "I can't stand liars. They are the worst kind of people"
Figment of my imagination, "Parker" reads that statement and thinks 'Oh, I agree with that. I've had this person lie to me and that person lie to me. I have no patience for liars."
Example2: "Patty Bo Batty helped all of those kids. She's so generous."
"Parker" reads that statement and thinks "I helped those kids, too. Why didn't I get any credit? People never remark on the good things I do."
Now, you might be surprised to find out that "Parker" just lied to his boss about how her new dress looks on her, to his best friend about why he can't help move furniture, and about farting in the elevator. So, Parker jumps on the bandwagon about liars, but he himself is a liar. Is Parker a bad person? No. Has Parker really taken time to think about his own behavior and how that statement might apply to him?
Example 2 might be more accurate if we added the fact that Parker also called one of his co-workers a b*tch behind her back. He also doesn't do any of the work he is supposed to do, but he does help the kids. Does his working with those kids really make up for him name-calling or allowing all of his co-workers to carry the rest of his load?
I say all this to say, as you read this (or any other written observation or advice), apply it to yourself first. Do YOU do these things or say these things? Can you see yourself doing them? Don't think about the rest of the world, because you can't control other people. You can only control your actions and reactions.
Now, let's move on to Lauryn Hill's song title. "Everything is everything" This means take NOTHING for granted. Don't assume ANYTHING you do, say, or encounter does not carry influence. Etiquette and general guidelines for manners were designed with this in mind.
People worried about being "politically correct" are overdosing on this thought, while those that open their mouth and operate like cable tv (with no filter for what comes out) are malnourished.
I shouldn't be worried about offending people because I said "girl" instead of "woman". However, people should not walk up to a woman and think that "What's up, B*tch?" is appropriate. It's a mixture of common sense, intention, and respect.
Imagine a ten year old boy hearing you say "What up, B*tch?" to your bestest girlfriend. No matter what you or his parents (if the kid isn't yours) SAY to him, he is going to think (especially as he gets older) that "b*tch" is an acceptable thing to call women. Maybe your bestest girlfriend is emotionally or psychologically abused at home, being called a "b*tch" on a regular basis by her spouse before he hits her. But she puts a smile on her face out in public because, hey...who wants the world to know that embarrassing scenario?
Maybe you decide to go out the night before work, knowing that you need to go to your son's school in the morning before hand. You wake up cranky, fighting a hangover...you either go into school with a bad attitude and blame it on the teacher "being a b*tch", take it out on your son for having to go in, or you miss it all together. Then, your son doesn't think you care, the school sees your son as a failure, and you've ruined that whole day simply because you HAD to drink the night before.
I always think of Spiderman when pondering this "everything is everything" philosophy. Before he became Spiderman, he had the chance to stop a criminal but said that it wasn't his problem. Later, he feels like crap because that same criminal who he let get away, kills his uncle.
You have to start believing that everything you do and say has influence over the world around you in ways that you NEVER will realize. People must try to accept that. It does not mean that you should be so uptight that you never joke, relax, or enjoy life. I do mean that I feel people would get along better if they tried their best to apologize when they make someone upset, without being defensive. In turn, those offended should accept apologies from someone who truly meant no offense and then let it go (unless it becomes a habit). Watch what you say and do, be classy and respectful, and apologize when you fail to do so.
Some of you will say something along the lines of "I can't please everyone" or "I'm can't watch what I say and do 24/7. I'm going to offend someone." To you, I say "Quit being f*cking lazy." If you have a problem of being offensive, work on it. The more you do, the easier it will get with time. It's not a quality to let whatever you want to fall out of your mouth offending others, it's a flaw. Society today appears to think "keeping it real" means saying whatever comes into your mind and not caring what others think or do (see entry "Care Bear Stare, Fool")
Everything is everything.
I think most people will respect that.
POINT: No matter who you are, you have great power and influence...over someone. You can either be a good influence or a bad influence over those people you encounter.
No comments:
Post a Comment